✨ goat

Nachos

2 brown onions, chopped fine chopped chunky is fine too
10 garlic pieces or more, i've found 10 works fine if they're chunky cloves
1 teaspoon dried marjoram dried oregano works fine if you cant find marjoram
2 cans tinned diced tomtoes
1 small tomato paste the leggos pottle or red woolies tin work well
2 tins of beans (either red kidney beans or pinto beans)
1 tin refried beans
Kaitaia Fire (lots) or any other similar chilli sauce, or chilli flakes
Tamari (about a tablespoon) gluten free soy sauce works if you cant find tamari, which tends to hide in the organics section (the orgasmics section (wtf am i on about))
Lea & Perrins (about 2 teaspoons) or any other worcester sauce
Maple Syrup (about 2 teaspoons)
Molasses (a small tablespoon) watch it, it's really easy to overdo this
Sesame oil (about 2 teaspoons)
A squeeze of lemon juice
Lots of black pepper, and salt if necessary.
A splash of red wine

Corn Chips
Spring onions
Sour Cream

Fry the onions and garlic in about 2 tablespoons of oil till they are translucent and sweating, not browned. Then add everything else one by one, mix it in, and stir and cook till it's all blended.

You could substitute the maple syrup and molasses with some brown sugar (or white sugar, or coconut sugar). The Lea & Perrins and Tamari could be substituted with plain soy sauce. And Kaitaia Fire could be any old hot sauce. If you play around with the amounts of things you'll get to a flavour you're happy with!

This is one of those old family recipes where you just have to keep tasting it and feel your way with it. Don't undercook it or it'll be thin and taste like shit. It tends to turn a thick, dark red. If something isn't quite there with it by the end, add more Kaitaia Fire, Lea & Perrins, and Tamari and mix it in and cook more. If it still isn't right, add a bit more lemon juice, stir, and cook more. Once the refried beans have been added and the mixture is getting nice and thick, it'll start spitting red splats everywhere unless you mix it near constantly.

Heat corn chips with grated cheese on top so it melts (use a sharp cheddar). Serve in a big plate, ring of cheese chips around the edge, and nacho mix in the center. Sprinkle chopped spring onions on top, and heaps of sour cream (this meal needs alot of fat to go with it). Chopped coriander is good on top too in place of spring onions. If you like olives, pitted kalmata olives can be added prior, near the end of cooking (and a splash of olive juice if you're feeling extra special). If you have excess cheese, it can be sprinkled on top too. Serves 4 - 5, depending on how hungry you are.

Originally by my mum, based on the Nachos from Midnight Espresso as they were in 1993/4